Novice Oblate of St. Benedict

 Until now, I still find it amazing that I am part of the Benedictine family. For many years, I searched for a religious order where I truly belonged. I explored different paths and even received referrals from several priests, yet for various reasons, I did not pursue or remain in those communities.

My journey toward religious life has not been without wounds. Some past experiences caused me pain, but little by little, I am learning to let go and trust that God meets us where we are. Our Oblates director, who is also my spiritual director, once told me that the struggles I faced before my investiture were meant to strengthen my commitment as a Novice Oblate.

One of the things I love about the Rule of St. Benedict is its spirit of moderation and balance. It teaches a path of holiness that harmonizes prayer, work, and daily life.

For a long time, I thought I was meant to become a Carmelite, and I tried very hard to follow that path. I did not expect that the order I longed for would bring me so much pain. I just wanted to belong to a community of understanding, like-minded individuals who could guide me in living faithfully in the secular world. I wanted to grow in prayer, dwell in God’s Word, and learn more about Him and His saints. God is witness to the tears I have shed. I admit that, in part, there was a selfish reason I considered returning to the Carmelites, yet God had a different plan. Though I did not become a Carmelite, He gently led me to another beautiful monastic contemplative community—the Benedictine way of life.

Looking back, I see God’s hand guiding me through every step. He truly knows what is best for His children.

That in all things, God may be glorified. 

A Beautiful Gift From God

 Finally, after almost a month, I received my parcel from Saint Vincent Archabbey in Pennsylvania, USA. I am deeply grateful to the Director of Oblates for accepting me, and for allowing me to have my investiture in my own parish.

This experience means so much to me because of what I went through in the past. I was formerly part of the Third Order Carmelites, but I withdrew from my formation because of an incident in which my investiture was put on hold. One of the lay leaders insisted that I attend physical formation meetings, even though I had already explained my situation to our National Formator. Sadly, my circumstances were not understood. 

I have tried joining a lot of lay religious and consecrated order and community when I was still single and as a married woman. When I was still single I joined the Cenacle Auxiliaries (vowed lay women), Order of the Discalced Carmelites Secular and then as a married woman I tried to look into the Franciscans (my heart is not really in their charism), Third Order of Carmelites and also the Lay Cistercian in the US. In the end I was accepted and I chose the Benedictine because of the balance in work and prayer. The order is not extremely strict it is a balance of moderation.

He kept comparing my situation to his own, saying that in his time he attended in-person meetings. At that time, however, I could not do the same—especially because my husband wanted me to focus on our family, and I also had a three-year-old child. The pressure became so heavy that I found myself crying. My husband saw how deeply affected I was by what was happening in our Third Order community. Because of this, I decided not to continue toward postulancy and formally withdrew from the Third Order Carmelites.

Even though the Carmelite family has always been very dear to me—especially because of Thérèse of Lisieux—I had to let go because of the painful and traumatic experiences I went through there.

Now, I truly believe that God has given me the religious family I have been longing for in the Benedictine family, particularly through Saint Vincent Archabbey. Truly, God knows best.

Benedict of Nursia and Scholastica, pray for us—for all Oblates and all Benedictines.