Novice Oblate of St. Benedict

 Until now, I still find it amazing that I am part of the Benedictine family. For many years, I searched for a religious order where I truly belonged. I explored different paths and even received referrals from several priests, yet for various reasons, I did not pursue or remain in those communities.

My journey toward religious life has not been without wounds. Some past experiences caused me pain, but little by little, I am learning to let go and trust that God meets us where we are. Our Oblates director, who is also my spiritual director, once told me that the struggles I faced before my investiture were meant to strengthen my commitment as a Novice Oblate.

One of the things I love about the Rule of St. Benedict is its spirit of moderation and balance. It teaches a path of holiness that harmonizes prayer, work, and daily life.

For a long time, I thought I was meant to become a Carmelite, and I tried very hard to follow that path. I did not expect that the order I longed for would bring me so much pain. I just wanted to belong to a community of understanding, like-minded individuals who could guide me in living faithfully in the secular world. I wanted to grow in prayer, dwell in God’s Word, and learn more about Him and His saints. God is witness to the tears I have shed. I admit that, in part, there was a selfish reason I considered returning to the Carmelites, yet God had a different plan. Though I did not become a Carmelite, He gently led me to another beautiful monastic contemplative community—the Benedictine way of life.

Looking back, I see God’s hand guiding me through every step. He truly knows what is best for His children.

That in all things, God may be glorified. 

About Third Order and Oblates

When I was invested as a Benedictine Oblate Novice in our parish, some parishioners asked me what it meant and what happened during the investiture. One church server even thought I was a new convert to the Catholic Church.

To explain it simply. In the hierarchy of the Catholic Church, the First Order is for priests and friars. The Second Order is for religious sisters and nuns who also take vows like the first order. Lastly, the Third Order is for lay people. They live out the charism or spirituality of a religious order while living in the world. Examples are the Third Order Carmelites and Benedictine Oblates.

Some well-known Third Orders are the Carmelites, Dominicans, Franciscans, Augustinians, and Servites. I myself once became an aspirant in the secular branch of the Order of Discalced Carmelites and Third Order Carmelites. 

Members of these groups usually make promises to live according to the spirituality of the order. Oblates, on the other hand, are people who are spiritually attached to a specific Benedictine monastery. Like yours truly. The purpose of the Third Order or becoming an oblate is to deepen one’s faith and live the charism of the order while remaining in the secular world.

Each order has a different charism. For example, those drawn to prayer and contemplation may be attracted to the Carmelite spirituality. Because of this, there is usually an observation or formation period to help a person discern if that path is truly for them.

Let me quote: (From online source:)

"Third Orders are usually connected to mendicant orders like the Franciscans, Dominicans, and Carmelites. Oblates are connected to monastic communities such as the Benedictines.

Third Order members often gather in local groups or chapters. Oblates are usually connected directly to one monastery. Third Order members often take part in apostolic or charitable works related to their order. Oblates follow the Benedictine spirit of prayer and work, living it in their daily life at home. Members of Third Orders are sometimes called tertiaries. Members connected to a monastery are called oblates, which comes from a Latin word meaning “to offer oneself.”

In the end, there are many ways to grow closer to God and deepen our faith. These spiritual families are gifts that help us live a more Christ-centered life. 

A Beautiful Gift From God

 Finally, after almost a month, I received my parcel from Saint Vincent Archabbey in Pennsylvania, USA. I am deeply grateful to the Director of Oblates for accepting me, and for allowing me to have my investiture in my own parish.

This experience means so much to me because of what I went through in the past. I was formerly part of the Third Order Carmelites, but I withdrew from my formation because of an incident in which my investiture was put on hold. One of the lay leaders insisted that I attend physical formation meetings, even though I had already explained my situation to our National Formator. Sadly, my circumstances were not understood. 

I have tried joining a lot of lay religious and consecrated order and community when I was still single and as a married woman. When I was still single I joined the Cenacle Auxiliaries (vowed lay women), Order of the Discalced Carmelites Secular and then as a married woman I tried to look into the Franciscans (my heart is not really in their charism), Third Order of Carmelites and also the Lay Cistercian in the US. In the end I was accepted and I chose the Benedictine because of the balance in work and prayer. The order is not extremely strict it is a balance of moderation.

He kept comparing my situation to his own, saying that in his time he attended in-person meetings. At that time, however, I could not do the same—especially because my husband wanted me to focus on our family, and I also had a three-year-old child. The pressure became so heavy that I found myself crying. My husband saw how deeply affected I was by what was happening in our Third Order community. Because of this, I decided not to continue toward postulancy and formally withdrew from the Third Order Carmelites.

Even though the Carmelite family has always been very dear to me—especially because of Thérèse of Lisieux—I had to let go because of the painful and traumatic experiences I went through there.

Now, I truly believe that God has given me the religious family I have been longing for in the Benedictine family, particularly through Saint Vincent Archabbey. Truly, God knows best.

Benedict of Nursia and Scholastica, pray for us—for all Oblates and all Benedictines.

The Desert Fathers

          I have seen a documentary from EWTn about The Desert Fathers. Since I am drawn to monasticism and of course as a Benedictine by heart and I am studying also under the Cistercian as an associate, it is important for me to know about them.

The documentary started when Paul of Thebes runaway because of persecution of Christians and also he is regarded as the first Christian hermit.

One character that has struck me is how they are detached from the world but never forget to pray for all the people. They also gave us a beautiful teaching of never be enticed by worldly treasures because everything else here in this world is temporary. I also saw how they live. He wove leaves of palm tree for his garment and live only on dates and water from a nearby spring. One amazing story is how a raven always brings him a half of loaf bread daily. Such kindred souls with these two holy souls! When St. Paul of Thebes died in a posture in prayer, St. Anthony then wrapped the body of St. Paul with the cloak from St. (Bishop) Athanasius for burial.

I also love the part of the documentary when St. Anthony the Great searched to find Paul, to find a kindred spirit. I pray that I may find my kindred one too spiritually. No one understand one's spiritual journey unless you're in the same level of understanding. People from the secular world won't understand and also even members from our family may find us weird or strange, and we might even be mocked or persecuted. When I was a reader during my highschool days at mass in our school chapel, I will never forget a verse from my reading, "Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth. All things are vanity!" I asked one of the religious sisters (Daughters of Charity, my school was run by them.) how to pronounce Qoheleth, so I will never forget this line. 

What lessons thus we can learn from The Desert Fathers. In solitude can we really hear God, we need to take a pause and take time to reflect despite with our busy life in this world. Everything is temporary. We must not be enticed with the riches of this world, to live only for the riches, to enjoy and indulge in wine, food and sex. The belief that "YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE." So enjoy when you have the time is very wrong. We only live one so we must do the right things. 

St. Jerome in his letters strongly criticized the rich and wealthy people. For him it is immoral to live lavishly while others suffered! Isn't what he wrote also echoes what is happening in our society today?  Corruption is rampant, the poor are getting poorer because of this. 

In ending, we can find God in solitude, practice humility and detachment from worldly distractions to achieve purity of heart. Practice silence one of the things I learned from one of the books that I am studying now, do self-examination and always never forget pray! Pray unceasingly! 

On Wearing Chapel Veil or Mantilla

Wearing a veil or chapel veil dates back to the early Christian Church. During the time of Vatican I, women cover their heads with a veil when they enter a church, chapel, or when they attend Mass.

At that time, in Catholic practice, women were expected by custom to cover their heads in church. It was considered part of proper modesty and reverence during worship.

St. Paul writes about this in 1 Corinthians, chapter 11. This is more of a custom. According to Fr. Mike Schmitz, we are free to make use of it, just like other sacramentals such as scapulars, etc.

One Benedictine monk once told Fr. Mike Schmitz that if you are doing something that sets you apart in public worship or public liturgy, as distinct from everyone else, then you should take a moment and ask, “Why am I doing this?”

Nowadays, women are not required to wear a veil. Let me cite from Wikipedia: current Catholic canon law does not require women to wear veils or head coverings at Mass; the 1983 Code of Canon Law repealed the earlier explicit requirement.

But personally, for me, the practice of wearing a veil in church even if it sets you apart from the community, where usually only older women, mostly seniors and grandmothers, wear veil. For me, wearing one is a sign of reverence to God and to the Holy Eucharist. It is an act of showing you respect to our Lord God and it expresses modesty more than simply wearing your Sunday's best.

Let us make ourselves beautifully proper for our Lord God and to always be on time when attending mass. If you can be beautifully and handsomely dressed when facing your loved one and on time on your date and meeting. All the more you should be ready, prepared and on time for mass! Shouldn't we be ashamed of ourselves when we are on time in other events but often come late at mass!

I'm thankful to my former Third Order Carmelite family for giving me this beautiful veil or mantilla. According to the giver, it has already been blessed. This mantilla has a beautiful lace design with the word “Jerusalem” and an image of our Blessed Mother Mary carrying the Child Jesus. ✍️ #fromthepilgrimsdesk #mantillaveil #Catholicmass

Movie Review: Vision (From the Life of Hildegard Von Bingen)

      Yesterday, I was able to finish the movie Vision, which is about the life of St. Hildegard. The movie, I think is not faithful to the real life story of this saint. Just like the movie that I saw before about the life of St. Faustina, they added a sort of romantic theme on it even if its not true. There's Clara, a nun who was impregnated and Richardis who idolizes and looks up so much to Hildegard. There is nothing special about the movie. The only good thing about is, is that I got to know the life of St  Hildegard. She is such an accomplished woman during her time. You can try watching it. 

The Benedictine Way

 It has been a few days since I submitted my application to join the Oblates of St. Benedict. Earlier, I was accepted as a postulant among the Lay Cistercians as a lay contemplative. However, even after being accepted, I continued communicating with the vocation director of the Oblates, a Benedictine monk and priest.

He explained to me that the Cistercians are primarily contemplative, while the Benedictines also have an active apostolate, such as teaching and running schools and universities. This reminded me of San Beda University in Manila, which is run by the Benedictines, and within the university is the Abbey of Our Lady of Montserrat. That is where I had my medals blessed by a Benedictine priest. It is important to me that a Benedictine priest bless them, as they have a special blessing that includes the exorcism of the medals, which is unique to the Benedictine tradition.

I feel that I truly belong here because my acceptance will eventually be completed in my own parish. The investiture kit will be sent from the United States, and I will be formally affiliated with a Benedictine monastery there.

I am now waiting for the right time to inform the vocation director of the Lay Cistercians that I will be withdrawing my application with them, as I cannot serve two masters. I am drawn to the Benedictine way of life because it offers a balance between work and prayer. I feel joyful knowing that a priest will personally guide me and check on me along the way

Who is St. Benedict? 

St. Benedict of Nursia (c. 480–547) is known as the Father of Western Monasticism. He was born in Nursia (now Norcia, Italy) during the decline of the Roman Empire. As a young man, he was sent to Rome to study, but he became deeply disturbed by the moral corruption he witnessed there. Seeking God above all else (quaerere Deum), he left Rome to live a life of prayer and solitude.

Benedict spent several years as a hermit in a cave at Subiaco, where he devoted himself to prayer, fasting, and spiritual discipline. Over time, others were drawn to his holiness and wisdom, and he began to guide disciples. Though he faced opposition and even attempts on his life, Benedict remained steadfast, emphasizing humility, obedience, and discernment.

Eventually, he founded Monte Cassino, the monastery that became the model for Benedictine life. There, he wrote the Rule of St. Benedict, a balanced guide for monastic living centered on prayer (ora), work (labora), community life, and moderation. The Rule’s wisdom and humanity allowed it to endure for centuries and shape Christian life across Europe.

St. Benedict died peacefully at Monte Cassino, standing in prayer, supported by his monks. He was proclaimed Patron Saint of Europe and is remembered for teaching a way of life rooted in stability, humility, and the loving search for God—principles that continue to inspire monks, nuns, and oblates around the world.

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Recommended Books for Monastic Life and Practice

           I have discovered three essential books for Benedictine and Trappist/Cistercian spirituality. The first book is to recommended to me by our vocation director, "No Moment Too Small," by Norvene Vest. It is a good book for those who want to know more about Benedictine spirituality and practices like silence, reading the lectio divina, prayer and work. A Benedictine priest told me about the differences of Benedictine, Trappist and Cistercians. They are different orders and with different offices in Rome and each with different initials. (O.S.B, O. Cist., O.C.S.O). Cistercians are stricter than Benedictines. Compared with the Benedictines, the Trappists or Cistercians as they are preferred to be called are very contemplative and without active ministries like the Benedictines who manages schools, parishes and chaplaincies. The Cistercians are reformed movement of Benedictine monasticism.

The other book that I purchased is the Rule of St. Benedict which is very important because its the core of spiritual and communal foundation of the spiritual life. 

The last book is the life story penned by the author himself. A famous Cistercian monk, Thomas Merton. This book is a classic and well by almost everyone. "The Seven Storey Mountain," recounts his life conversion to Catholicism and how he became a Trappist monk at The Abbey of Gethsemani.

Spiritual Warfare and Our Lady of Sorrows Chaplet

           I recently wrote something about exorcism and spiritual warfare. This topic isn’t new to me since I’ve already read and collected many books about it—mostly by Fr. Jose Francisco Syquia, the Director of the Archdiocese of Manila Office on Exorcism; the late Fr. Gabriele Amorth, former exorcist of the Diocese of Rome; and Fr. Carlos Martins, an American exorcist.

Now, I’d like to talk about the works of Fr. Chad Ripperger, a traditionalist American Catholic priest and exorcist. By “traditionalist,” I mean he is a conservative Roman Catholic who was once ordained under the Priestly Fraternity of St. Peter. He later founded the Society of the Most Sorrowful Mother, also known as the Doloran Fathers. Through them, I was encouraged and inspired to have a devotion to Our Lady of Sorrows.

I also shared with them my desire to join their auxiliary group—prayer warriors who offer prayers for priests and all those involved in spiritual warfare, under the special protection of our Blessed Mother. This ministry truly touched my heart because, during my younger and more chaotic years, I was once involved in witchcraft and the occult. But in His mercy, God did not allow me to remain in darkness—He pulled me out of the pit. I am forever grateful to Him and to our Blessed Mother. I have also informed my spiritual director, Fr. Quirico Pedregosa, O.P., about my intention to join the auxiliary.

 

Aside from being a member of the Confraternity of the Holy Rosary, I will do my best to also pray the Chaplet of Our Lady of Sorrows. This chaplet has its own special rosary, much like the Chaplet of St. Michael.

As shown in the photo, these are the chaplet and rosary of Our Lady of Sorrows, along with books by Fr. Chad Ripperger. His book Dominion discusses everything about spiritual warfare, but before reading it, it’s best to start with Introduction to the Science of Mental Health, also written by him and based on the teachings of St. Thomas Aquinas.

I pray that, in my own small way, through prayer, I can help support the ministry of priests and all those engaged in spiritual warfare.

May our Blessed Mother cover me with her mantle, and may our Lord Jesus protect me with His Precious Blood. Amen.