A Beautiful Gift From God

 Finally, after almost a month, I received my parcel from Saint Vincent Archabbey in Pennsylvania, USA. I am deeply grateful to the Director of Oblates for accepting me, and for allowing me to have my investiture in my own parish.

This experience means so much to me because of what I went through in the past. I was formerly part of the Third Order Carmelites, but I withdrew from my formation because of an incident in which my investiture was put on hold. One of the lay leaders insisted that I attend physical formation meetings, even though I had already explained my situation to our National Formator. Sadly, my circumstances were not understood. 

He kept comparing my situation to his own, saying that in his time he attended in-person meetings. At that time, however, I could not do the same—especially because my husband wanted me to focus on our family, and I also had a three-year-old child. The pressure became so heavy that I found myself crying. My husband saw how deeply affected I was by what was happening in our Third Order community. Because of this, I decided not to continue toward postulancy and formally withdrew from the Third Order Carmelites.

Even though the Carmelite family has always been very dear to me—especially because of Thérèse of Lisieux—I had to let go because of the painful and traumatic experiences I went through there.

Now, I truly believe that God has given me the religious family I have been longing for in the Benedictine family, particularly through Saint Vincent Archabbey. Truly, God knows best.

Benedict of Nursia and Scholastica, pray for us—for all Oblates and all Benedictines.

The Desert Fathers

          I have seen a documentary from EWTn about The Desert Fathers. Since I am drawn to monasticism and of course as a Benedictine by heart and I am studying also under the Cistercian as an associate, it is important for me to know about them.

The documentary started when Paul of Thebes runaway because of persecution of Christians and also he is regarded as the first Christian hermit.

One character that has struck me is how they are detached from the world but never forget to pray for all the people. They also gave us a beautiful teaching of never be enticed by worldly treasures because everything else here in this world is temporary. I also saw how they live. He wove leaves of palm tree for his garment and live only on dates and water from a nearby spring. One amazing story is how a raven always brings him a half of loaf bread daily. Such kindred souls with these two holy souls! When St. Paul of Thebes died in a posture in prayer, St. Anthony then wrapped the body of St. Paul with the cloak from St. (Bishop) Athanasius for burial.

I also love the part of the documentary when St. Anthony the Great searched to find Paul, to find a kindred spirit. I pray that I may find my kindred one too spiritually. No one understand one's spiritual journey unless you're in the same level of understanding. People from the secular world won't understand and also even members from our family may find us weird or strange, and we might even be mocked or persecuted. When I was a reader during my highschool days at mass in our school chapel, I will never forget a verse from my reading, "Vanity of vanities, says Qoheleth. All things are vanity!" I asked one of the religious sisters (Daughters of Charity, my school was run by them.) how to pronounce Qoheleth, so I will never forget this line. 

What lessons thus we can learn from The Desert Fathers. In solitude can we really hear God, we need to take a pause and take time to reflect despite with our busy life in this world. Everything is temporary. We must not be enticed with the riches of this world, to live only for the riches, to enjoy and indulge in wine, food and sex. The belief that "YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE." So enjoy when you have the time is very wrong. We only live one so we must do the right things. 

St. Jerome in his letters strongly criticized the rich and wealthy people. For him it is immoral to live lavishly while others suffered! Isn't what he wrote also echoes what is happening in our society today?  Corruption is rampant, the poor are getting poorer because of this. 

In ending, we can find God in solitude, practice humility and detachment from worldly distractions to achieve purity of heart. Practice silence one of the things I learned from one of the books that I am studying now, do self-examination and always never forget pray! Pray unceasingly! 

On Wearing Chapel Veil or Mantilla

Wearing a veil or chapel veil dates back to the early Christian Church. During the time of Vatican I, women cover their heads with a veil when they enter a church, chapel, or when they attend Mass.

At that time, in Catholic practice, women were expected by custom to cover their heads in church. It was considered part of proper modesty and reverence during worship.

St. Paul writes about this in 1 Corinthians, chapter 11. This is more of a custom. According to Fr. Mike Schmitz, we are free to make use of it, just like other sacramentals such as scapulars, etc.

One Benedictine monk once told Fr. Mike Schmitz that if you are doing something that sets you apart in public worship or public liturgy, as distinct from everyone else, then you should take a moment and ask, “Why am I doing this?”

Nowadays, women are not required to wear a veil. Let me cite from Wikipedia: current Catholic canon law does not require women to wear veils or head coverings at Mass; the 1983 Code of Canon Law repealed the earlier explicit requirement.

But personally, for me, the practice of wearing a veil in church even if it sets you apart from the community, where usually only older women, mostly seniors and grandmothers, wear veil. For me, wearing one is a sign of reverence to God and to the Holy Eucharist. It is an act of showing you respect to our Lord God and it expresses modesty more than simply wearing your Sunday's best.

Let us make ourselves beautifully proper for our Lord God and to always be on time when attending mass. If you can be beautifully and handsomely dressed when facing your loved one and on time on your date and meeting. All the more you should be ready, prepared and on time for mass! Shouldn't we be ashamed of ourselves when we are on time in other events but often come late at mass!

I'm thankful to my former Third Order Carmelite family for giving me this beautiful veil or mantilla. According to the giver, it has already been blessed. This mantilla has a beautiful lace design with the word “Jerusalem” and an image of our Blessed Mother Mary carrying the Child Jesus. ✍️ #fromthepilgrimsdesk #mantillaveil #Catholicmass

Movie Review: Vision (From the Life of Hildegard Von Bingen)

      Yesterday, I was able to finish the movie Vision, which is about the life of St. Hildegard. The movie, I think is not faithful to the real life story of this saint. Just like the movie that I saw before about the life of St. Faustina, they added a sort of romantic theme on it even if its not true. There's Clara, a nun who was impregnated and Richardis who idolizes and looks up so much to Hildegard. There is nothing special about the movie. The only good thing about is, is that I got to know the life of St  Hildegard. She is such an accomplished woman during her time. You can try watching it. 

The Benedictine Way

 It has been a few days since I submitted my application to join the Oblates of St. Benedict. Earlier, I was accepted as a postulant among the Lay Cistercians as a lay contemplative. However, even after being accepted, I continued communicating with the vocation director of the Oblates, a Benedictine monk and priest.

He explained to me that the Cistercians are primarily contemplative, while the Benedictines also have an active apostolate, such as teaching and running schools and universities. This reminded me of San Beda University in Manila, which is run by the Benedictines, and within the university is the Abbey of Our Lady of Montserrat. That is where I had my medals blessed by a Benedictine priest. It is important to me that a Benedictine priest bless them, as they have a special blessing that includes the exorcism of the medals, which is unique to the Benedictine tradition.

I feel that I truly belong here because my acceptance will eventually be completed in my own parish. The investiture kit will be sent from the United States, and I will be formally affiliated with a Benedictine monastery there.

I am now waiting for the right time to inform the vocation director of the Lay Cistercians that I will be withdrawing my application with them, as I cannot serve two masters. I am drawn to the Benedictine way of life because it offers a balance between work and prayer. I feel joyful knowing that a priest will personally guide me and check on me along the way

Who is St. Benedict? 

St. Benedict of Nursia (c. 480–547) is known as the Father of Western Monasticism. He was born in Nursia (now Norcia, Italy) during the decline of the Roman Empire. As a young man, he was sent to Rome to study, but he became deeply disturbed by the moral corruption he witnessed there. Seeking God above all else (quaerere Deum), he left Rome to live a life of prayer and solitude.

Benedict spent several years as a hermit in a cave at Subiaco, where he devoted himself to prayer, fasting, and spiritual discipline. Over time, others were drawn to his holiness and wisdom, and he began to guide disciples. Though he faced opposition and even attempts on his life, Benedict remained steadfast, emphasizing humility, obedience, and discernment.

Eventually, he founded Monte Cassino, the monastery that became the model for Benedictine life. There, he wrote the Rule of St. Benedict, a balanced guide for monastic living centered on prayer (ora), work (labora), community life, and moderation. The Rule’s wisdom and humanity allowed it to endure for centuries and shape Christian life across Europe.

St. Benedict died peacefully at Monte Cassino, standing in prayer, supported by his monks. He was proclaimed Patron Saint of Europe and is remembered for teaching a way of life rooted in stability, humility, and the loving search for God—principles that continue to inspire monks, nuns, and oblates around the world.

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Recommended Books for Monastic Life and Practice

           I have discovered three essential books for Benedictine and Trappist/Cistercian spirituality. The first book is to recommended to me by our vocation director, "No Moment Too Small," by Norvene Vest. It is a good book for those who want to know more about Benedictine spirituality and practices like silence, reading the lectio divina, prayer and work. A Benedictine priest told me about the differences of Benedictine, Trappist and Cistercians. They are different orders and with different offices in Rome and each with different initials. (O.S.B, O. Cist., O.C.S.O). Cistercians are stricter than Benedictines. Compared with the Benedictines, the Trappists or Cistercians as they are preferred to be called are very contemplative and without active ministries like the Benedictines who manages schools, parishes and chaplaincies. The Cistercians are reformed movement of Benedictine monasticism.

The other book that I purchased is the Rule of St. Benedict which is very important because its the core of spiritual and communal foundation of the spiritual life. 

The last book is the life story penned by the author himself. A famous Cistercian monk, Thomas Merton. This book is a classic and well by almost everyone. "The Seven Storey Mountain," recounts his life conversion to Catholicism and how he became a Trappist monk at The Abbey of Gethsemani.

How Great is Our God

           God has been good and faithful to me for He has answered my prayers. Sometimes what we think is meant for us and when we don't get it means God has prepared something good for us and what He really meant for us. 

I was accepted jn the Lay Contemplative Associates of the Cisterians in Georgia, USA. Praise God!

I thought at first that my application was not going well but after a few days (3 days of silence), the vocation director emailed me saying, everything is going well. Then yesterday night a I have received a beautiful news! I will start my formation this February. 

I thank God, our Blessed Mother and our Lord Jesus! Quaerere Deum!

Rejection and Redirection

      It will become almost a year now after I withdrew from my Third Order Carmelite formation. You may have read my previous post that I found a Dominican spiritual director but it has been just the same. There has been no follow-up that has happened and I still feel the lacking. 

I have been searching for a lay religious community that will accept me and my formation online. That was when the life of this contemplative monastic group caught my attention. They are the Trappists and also known as Cistercians. I know St.Benedict because I wear his medal and it was blessed by a Benedictine monk. It needs to be blessed by a Benedictine monk because there is a special rite, powerful prayers of exorcism and blessing, making it a spiritual weapon against evil.

If you have not read the life of St. Benedict you should. He has a twin sister named St. Scholastica. I have found a lay community in the US that has accepted me as an isolate and overseas member of the Cistercian. I have already sent my application letter together with my support letter from missionary priests (Missionary of God's Love) from Australia. Fr. Vincent from Indonesia and Fr. Steven Tynan, my former parish priest and he has known me for a long-time he even baptized my baby before he flew back to Australia. He is now a rector there. 

I thank God for leading me to the Cistercians, for an understanding vocation director, Sandy and for Fr. Cassian OCSO for accepting application. I pray that Our Lady and our Lord Jesus will bless this new path of mine. Our Lord is indeed the great healer for he healed my broken heart of my past experience with  the former secular order that I joined before. 

What attracted me to the life of Cistercian is their love for Mary, silence and a life of simplicity and austerity. As a sign of following this practice of life and being one with them my Facebook cover was changed and I made us of AI generating St. Benedict of Nursia, St. Bernard of Clairvaux and St. Gertrude the Great. Two Benedictine saints and one Cisterian to remind me and help me in living their life in the secular world. 

I will never tire seeking God like the song of St.Anselm.