Journey to Carmel

  No, I have not been to Carmel, and I have not traveled to the place where Elijah has trod upon. I am referring to my journey to Carmel as a Carmelite aspirant, more than a decade ago. When I was a young girl, I dreamed of becoming a nun. As a teenager and a young adult I have visited a long of Contemplative orders in my country, namely, The Sister Servants of the Holy Spirit Adoration Sisters (more popularly known as the Pink Sisters), Poor Clares, Dominicans, and of course I have seen cloistered Carmelite Nuns when I professed our promises in a local Carmelite Convent. St. Therese of the Child Jesus, was influential in my religious desire. I have her autobiography, and for those of you who didn't know she entered the Carmelite convent at such a young age, she's 15 years old. It is not usual for religious order to accept younger women, but she was an exception. Her zealous desire to be a religious at such a young age, even telling the Pope, of her desire to enter the convent.

Third Order Secular are lay people who belong to a religious order. They profess "promises", similar to vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience.

Why I chose the Carmel way of life. First, I am attracted to a contemplative life. A prayerful life, and religious studies. Also because, I look up to Carmelites saints! St. Teresa and St. John of Avila. I have read the book written by St. Teresa before, The Interior Castle. Below are a lists of what Carmel life is about.

• *listening to the Word of God and responding in silent prayer for at least half an hour each day,
• *participating in the Church’s liturgy – daily Mass where possible, Morning and Evening Prayer of the Church, and, if possible, also Night Prayer,
• *taking Mary our Mother as our model of prayer and service as she pondered the Word of God in her heart and lived in obedience to that Word,
• *studying and meditating on the inspired teachings of the Carmelite saints, especially Saints Teresa and John of the Cross,
• *studying and meditating on the beliefs of our Christian faith and our Catholic tradition,
• *supporting one another through regular Community meetings, contact and service.

I am glad that I'm back now. I was baptized and confirmed as a Roman Catholic and I am so relieved to know that whatever I do it cannot be taken away from me. Of course, I know my mistake of joining a Protestant church. Being baptized as a Roman Catholic it cannot be taken back. It is already imprinted in me, marked on my soul, as stated in Canon 845.1. 

What I want to say is my life is a testimony of God's love, grace and mercy. I am absolutely a sinner, not perfect, but I still want to follow our Lord Jesus. In our lifetime, there will come a time when we feel as if we are like traveling in a dry desert. But it is one way of God communicating with us. Like what Thomas Merton said. 

"Wilderness had been created supremely valuable in the eyes of God precisely because it had no value to men. The wasteland was the land that could never be wasted by men because it offered them nothing. There was nothing to attract them. There was nothing to exploit. The desert was the region in which the Chosen People had wandered for forty years, cared for by God alone. They could have reached the Promised Land in a few months if they had traveled directly to it. God's plan was that they should learn to love Him in the wilderness and that they should always look back on the time in the desert as the idyllic time of their life with Him alone. The desert was created simply to be itself, not to be transformed by men into something else."

Let our prayers be, that we may see and feel God no matter what state of life we are in. That He is always near us, and know that He will never ever leave us.