Teach My Heart

            Everyone of us is struggling with something, one way or another we all have struggles. We try to remove these things in our lives the hard way, like when we remove dark stains in a plain sheet of cloth. These past few months has been really hard for me. Like Achilles I was hit by an arrow not in my heel but in my heart. My heart is my weak point, like Achilles' heel. So does everyone of us.

               I was not really aware that it has become an "idol", and that desire has almost consumed me. It has even come to a point that I was really affected by that "desire", to the point my relationship with GOD was really affected. It also has become a persistent thought in my head that even my sleep pattern was affected. Selfish desires engulfed me and I have been also acting immaturely over these feelings, and shameful as it is I was really "sourgraping", when I came to know I cannot get hold of that "desire".

              Still, GOD has been merciful and watching me all these time. I thank my fellow Christian brothers and sisters who are helping me get my life back on track. I was rebuked , and it felt like a slap in the face. A rebuke is painful but like the verse in the bible, "Better is open rebuke than hidden love." (Proverbs 27:5). 

               My prayer now is for our Lord GOD to change my heart and teach my heart to focus and fall in love with Him, day by day, like the prayer of St.Anselm, a theologian and a philosopher, that I might find Him in my desire, and that in desiring Him, I might find Him and when I find Him, I will love Him more and more each day. 

(click on the title link below to listen and watch the music video)

Teach My Heart (MV)

Oh Lord, my GOD teach my heart where and how to seek You, teach my heart where and how to find You.

You are my GOD and You are my All and I have never seen You.
You have made me and remade me,
You have bestowed on me all the good things I possess,
Still I do not know You…

I have not yet done that for which I was made….
Teach me to seek You…

I cannot seek You unless you teach me
or find You unless you show yourself to me.
Let me seek You in my desire, let me desire You in my seeking.
Let me find You by loving You, let me love You when I find You.

Teach me Lord, where and how to find You...